Masculinity is not about sex, it’s more about honourability

Manhood is not about the ability to sexually satisfy a woman. Many of us have misconceptions about masculinity and manhood. We think that good appearance and sexy body are criteria of real men. We also, manhood is related to sex stamina, ability to satisfy the partner. But that is not the case. 

Both men and women believe that honesty, integrity, and having control of your own life are most criteria of manhood, not sex. 

A survey published in the journal of sexual medicine reveals that manhood is primarily about being an honorable person and having control over one’s own life. 

The survey was conducted among 28.000 common persons in 8 different countries, those are The United Kingdom, France, Germany, Spain, Italy, the United States, Mexico, and Brazil

The researchers had created a list of different values that can be associated with masculinity and asked each participant to make a ranking of what they perceived as the most important criteria of masculinity

Only three percent of men believed that active sex life is the most important thing that defines masculinity. And just one percent of respondents thought that good appearance and attractiveness matter most.

They emphasize inner value and character above other things.

Men find the following qualities of masculinity: 

  1. Honesty (‘being honorable’) ranked at the top of the list for as many as 33 percents of participants ranked it most.
  2. The quality of having control over one’s own life ranked second 28 percent vote and ranked second. 
  3. 13% voted for being respected as the most important for masculinity while another 13% said that likeability among friends was the most important
  4. Having a good job got 10 percent of votes and ranked four

The result is not in the line of conventional belief but the gender researcher Jørgen Lorentzen of the University of Oslo is not surprised of the result.

Research conducted by the University of also finds that women have similar opinions. For women value, an honest partner, children, and good family life are more important than pure sex.

Both men and women give priority to the overall quality of life than sex life 

The study shows that for 25% of participants harmonious family is the most important and almost a similar number gives importance to the relationship with the partner.

 Men with erection problems have been given a special place in the study. In the survey, 16 percent said they have experienced erection failures  and premature ejaculation

Such problems could also affect men’s vision of masculinity and quality of life. 

After all, it would be conceivable if men with erection problems relate sex life more to the feeling of manliness than the quality of life. But that’s not the case, the study concludes.

Men with erection problems said that ‘honesty’ and ‘control over their own lives’ best define masculinity, while good relationships and harmony in the family are the way to true happiness.

Real men
“The findings show that erection failure does pose as much of a threat to feelings of masculinity and manhood as many may think,” the researchers behind the study write.

It is interesting to see that men with erectile dysfunction also emphasize honesty, integrity and self-confidence to masculinity more than sexuality

Obaidul Karim Khan

Danish small business owner, sexuality educator, blogger, founder of this site. Top writer on Quora and Medium. Provide sex education and counseling. as a volunteer. I follow always the latest research about sex