Typical sex fears and their solutions

Only a handful number of men have erectile dysfunction but many men have sex fears.  They have a fear that they are not competent enough to satisfy their female partners sexually.

The constant sex fear has the potential consequences of intercourse. These fears can undermine sexual performances as well as pleasure.

People all around the world have sex fears. But Asian males especially men from the Indian subcontinent have more fears than other parts of the world.

There are many misconceptions about sex abound in India and neighboring Bangladesh and Pakistan.

Read also: You need a big penis only if vaginal orgasm exists

Most of the young people don’t really have any sexual problem but they create those fear in their brains. 

Many young people get easily influenced by gossips. They hear tales of sex that lasts all night long. They watch porn videos where men are having sex with their female partners for hours but still do not ejaculate while their women get multiple orgasms. After hearing and watching those, many young people lose the sense of reality and get frustrated.

They watch porn stars have large penises and women are loving it. Indians read a lot of sex novels where they read about 12 inches of penis. 

Read also: Group sex therapy is more effective than the couple therapy

They feel frustrated that they don’t have such a large penis. They cannot hold that long either. They start to feel inferiority complex. That jeopardizes their self-confidence.

They try in many ways to boost their sexual performance but that give backlash. Because of fears, they either don’t get an adequate erection or get premature ejaculations.

Common sex fears 

The fear of premature ejaculation:

Several surveys show that most of the men get their orgasm within five minutes. But some men can hold just a couple of minutes.

You don’t have to use a stopwatch to measure the time of intercourse. Just do your business. You are one of the many billions of people who have family and children. Nobody is having any problem. Why should you have to worry?

If you are getting quick ejaculation, it is a good sign. You are healthy. People who don’t get ejaculation in an hour, they are sick. They are suffering from retrograde ejaculation.

For young people, it is normal that they get instant erection. If you don’t have sex before or have not had sex for a long time, you may not be able to hold a minute. Maybe you will get ejaculation while you are holding and kissing your partner.

Solution:

The problem of premature ejaculation is a temporary state. It does not require any treatment.

Don’t feel pressured to do things perfectly. You can tell your partner that the first time you would not hold long. She will understand.

Trying to boost your sexual stamina will not help. Just do it naturally. There would not be any problem.

The fear of small penis size:

Humans are solving the mystery of Mars but they cannot find the ideal size of a penis.

In the early 80s, urologists became agreed that the penis size did not matter. A 4-inch penis was considered fine. But now they say, a big penis is better to give a vaginal orgasm.

A bigger penis is may have some advantages. But the average penis size is also fine. As many as 34 births are reported every minute in India. Women are pleased and devoted to their husbands. No woman is complaining about penis size. You are the one who is complaining about your own.

Don’t worry, be happy. Even you have a very small penis, that can good functional using some tactics.

Solution:

Whatever size of penis you have, you can utilize it optimally. Don’t even get the idea to enlarge it. That is not possible and you don’t need it. 

In normal cases, the size of the penis and the vagina automatically adjust. The vagina has normal elasticity. It can accommodate from 3.7 inches to 7 inches. 

 If your penis length is outside of the range, you need some adjustments. You should use positions that are compatible with your size.

If you have undersize, you should use the doggy style that gives you the possibility of maximum penetration.

If you have an oversized penis, give your woman a choice of more control. You can use reverse cowboy or similar sex position where your partner can control what length of the penis she will take inside.

The size problem also existed in the old days. Kamasutra has given some hints of the matching of different kinds of men and women according to their genital sizes.

Kama Sutra divides men into three categories:

  • Hare (Small penis size)
  • Bull (Medium penis size)
  • Horse (Large penis size)

Kama sutra Female Sizes:

  • Deer (Small genital size)
  • Mare (Medium genital size)
  • Elephant (Large genital size)

Kama sutra does not give any hint of measurement of small, medium and large size. They did not have a meter scale but they had other kinds of the unit for measurement.

Anyways, surveys reveal the size below 5 inches belongs to the Hare category, the size between 5 to 6.5 inches in between and the size over 6.5 inches is large. A similar measurement is valid for female symbols deer, mare and elephant. Kama Sutra suggests hare and deer, bull and mare, and horse and elephant are good combinations.

Lack of sexual confidence:

Sexual confidence is knowing your ability to perform sex. If you lose your confidence, that would cause erectile dysfunction that you don’t have. When you have a lot of doubt about whether you can satisfy your partner, that would undermine your sexual performance. Even e potent man may give a lousy performance in bed when confidence has gone.

Solution:

Look, you are going to fuck. You are not going to the battlefield that you have to be a hero. You are not going to a job interview either. So why are you nervous?

Billions of men are having sex every day. All are common people like you and I. They are fucking without measuring their penises and without using a stopwatch for during penetration. They doing fine. They are enjoying while you are worrying.

Sex is an easy thing. Everybody does. Just fuck, don’t make things complicated.

Be yourself. You don’t have to perform better than you can. It is no problem if you get premature ejaculation. Believe me, next time it will be better.

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Obaidul Karim Khan

Danish small business owner, sexuality educator, blogger, founder of this site. Top writer on Quora and Medium. Provide sex education and counseling. as a volunteer. I follow always the latest research about sex